Feeling Old

(Originally posted in the Blog Oklahoma Newsletter)

I hate to say it, but I’ve been feeling old. I know I’m just in my late 50s, but what a month.

However, I do have some good news. I’m working again. It’s not what I was doing before, that’s for sure, but it’s a job and better than continuing to sit around waiting for more rejection letters to flow in. I’ve started working at a local store, unloading freight and stocking shelves. That’s a far cry from typing on a keyboard for a living. Ha! This job pays a fraction of what I was earning but has decent benefits. No lie, it’s very tiring work. Going from a 30-year desk job to being on your feet for 8 hours, lifting heavy boxes, and constantly moving has been difficult. I’m exhausted, sore, and covered in bruises.

Maybe that’s why I’m feeling old. I’m physically and mentally exhausted. No, that’s only partially it. It’s because of my father.

I’ve realized what’s happening to me, happened to him too. He worked for decades for an energy company and was abruptly laid off. Coincidentally close to the same age I am now. I can also remember him coming home exhausted and hardly able to move. That was me a few days ago. I’m even starting to sound and walk more like him, especially after a hard day. God, I miss him.

I’m sure many of you can relate to this. It’s just the way I feel right now. It’s definitely been a time, but I’m getting through it.